


please don't say you love me

by azneara



Category: All For the Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of foxes, Smoking, i have no idea what im doing tbh, maybe ??, what are you supposed to tag thing jesus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-08-13 11:30:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7975273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azneara/pseuds/azneara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just please don't say you love me<br/>'Cause I might not say it back<br/>Doesn't mean my heart stops skipping when you look at me like that</p>
            </blockquote>





	please don't say you love me

**Author's Note:**

> Based (very loosely) on Gabrielle Aplin's "Please don't say you love me". Have had to make up some stuff about ages to make it work so for some reason its andrews last year but the foxes are all still there. Please forgive my inconsistency, hope you enjoy!!

_“Just please don't say you love me_

_'Cause I might not say it back_

_Doesn't mean my heart stops skipping when you look at me like that”_

There is nothing Andrew hates more than when Neil looks at him like that. Andrew watches as Neil stretches and shifts as he wakes up, the pale dusky sunshine coming through the open window lighting up his hair and bringing a soft peachy glow to his skin. Neil slowly opens his eyes and smiles at Andrew with that look in his eye, the one Andrew hates. The one that is so fragile and poignant. His heart beats a little faster as Neil curls his body towards Andrew without actually touching him, only reaching a hand forward to place near his blanketed knee.

“Good morning,” Neil whispers, his voice rough with sleep.

“Only you could make me feel this murderous having only been awake five minutes,“ Andrew replies getting up to make coffee in a huff. He looks back at Neil encased in the silky white sheets with that same dopey grin on his face and scowls before leaving the room. And if he stops for a moment outside the door, forehead pressed to the cool wood and allows himself to smile a little bit himself, then Neil doesn’t have to know.

- 

 

The problem with Neil, Andrew has realised is that he is an idiot. As he sits on the sofa, Neil on the floor beneath him head resting on his knees, amongst the other foxes Andrew lets out a small sigh. Neil’s gone and done it again and given Andrew that look that says so much more than he is willing or able to think about just yet, and for practically no reason. How can something so small as bringing an extra mug of hot chocolate for him evoke such a response? The idiot takes too much meaning from every little thing. The screen illuminates Neil’s face and makes the scar on his cheek look so much angrier than usual, and Andrews skin itches because he cannot understand why Neil is here and with him and not somewhere else with someone who isn’t fucking terrified of a simple set of words.

“I hate you,” Andrew mutters threading his fingers through Neil’s hair and applying gentle pressure.

“I know,” He replies pushing his head further into Andrew’s hands, a small act of trust that makes Andrew’s heart clench. And if Andrews mask slips for a second in the darkness of the room, Neil doesn’t have to know.

 

- 

 

Summer comes, and winter fades and Neil is lying under him on their bed with that look on his face once more. Andrew glares and leans down to kiss him with as much anger as he can muster, almost attempting to bruise Neil’s lips. He feels Neil’s hand gently gripping the back of his shoulder where he’d placed it earlier. It is no secret that Neil would be considered attractive to most, and comments like Nicky and Allison’s make it clear to Andrew that the foxes think him hot, but he abhors the crude way in which they mean it. Neil is not hot, he is not sexy, Neil is some kind of beautiful and Andrew despises the way his heart skips a beat when he sees him. Neil kisses him with half lidded eyes and soft breaths, and despite this routine having gone on for years he still struggles to believe any of it is real.

“Your neck fetish is getting out of control Josten,” Andrew pants as Neil licks a stripe down his clavicle.

“You like it,” Neil murmurs, “You like me.” Andrew only grunts in response to the comment, not trusting his words for an instant. And as Neil’s eyes and thoughts are elsewhere, Andrew considers what has just been said and thinks that like might not necessarily be an accurate descriptor anymore.

 

-

 

It’s the night before their final game of the year and they sit, legs intertwined on the roof as Andrew burns through a cigarette. It’s his final year at Palmetto and Neil will be here for another after he leaves. It has gone unspoken that despite his feigned apathy Andrew will continue on to a major league team and Neil will do his best to join the same come time, but the threat of separation looms over them like a dark cloud nonetheless. Recently Neil has been sporting Andrew’s most hated look on his face far too often, he has been so careful to spend as much time as possible with Andrew whilst maintaining boundaries.

“You promised to not do anything stupid whilst I’m away, I wont take lightly to you breaking that,” Andrew says, watching the breeze ruffle the leaves atop the trees in the distance.

“Your definition of stupid and mine don’t always match up very well now do they?” Replies Neil a grin on his face big enough to split it.

“Don’t be a smart mouth,” Andrew answers the usual malice in his voice lacking. Tipping his head back to the sky he lets himself wonder why he is still keeping up his mask of indifference in front of Neil when they both know it’s not as true as it once was, when they both know none of the usual rules apply for Neil. They kiss gently and languidly not rushing or intensifying the moment. In a rare moment Andrew allows Neil to snake one arm around his waist and the other to the back of his head. Neil pulls away for a moment and gazes at Andrew with some passion before pulling back slightly.

“Andrew there’s something I really want to say,” he near to whispers. Andrew tenses for a second before attempting to relax again. Neil has never been in the business of wanting anything for himself so not allowing him to speak the words Andrew knows he has been thinking for so many months would be a kind of cruelty he could not manage. Neil takes a deeper breath and starts to speak, and it is so so painful to watch the fear in his eyes as he does so but Andrew is so deeply invested in not snapping at him he keeps his mouth shut.

And for once Neil does have to know. Andrew lets himself smile at Neil without the habitual malice and leans in. 

“137%” he mumbles against Neil’s lips, knowing he doesn’t need to repeat the words for him to understand and that this is enough.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fic and also attempt at writing so like please leave any feedback!!


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